Old habits die hard

Lying in bed with my books, catching a power nap every now and then. Setting a few alarms so I would not sleep all the way. Not to forget there's orange juice the accompany me for the night too. Sucks to be depressed and force to study. No choice day 1 of exams tomorrow. I really hope I can do this. Can't wait for thurs to end.

Goodbye to everything that I knew~
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Stay

Lying in bed, hiding under my blanket because my aircon is making me feel damn cold. It's nice to receive nice and sweet words. Bbms like " it makes me sad to see you sad too " how fortunate to have such nice friends. Eyes slipping shut, too tired already, it's almost six. Goodnight
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Get back to the old days

I know I'm supposed to be studying and memorising my mpo notes but I took about 15 mins out to type this. I ought to be given a break too right? What is worst is that I'm feeling really sleepy now because I haven't been sleeping much for the weekends. I need to blame myself for heading out to party, no self-discipline, but just a few words from my friend and I'll be walking out flagging for a cab down to one of our usual party place. So.......... I really have no idea how to get rid of this habit too. But I will try. 

So for the entire day I was trying to recall my night. Chilled and had drinks at velvet with Macy, Felicia and the rest. Alternating between zouk, phuture and winebar every now and then. Finally settled at phuture. Went over to nana after that. I always like to be at nana after partying, be it to sober myself up or get myself even more drunk. Bumped into so many familiar faces last night, but thank god, I was able to remain sober and not embarrass myself. I had a fun night with them and of course our super lambos, jaggerbombs and the sour plum shots which is a must! 

Preparing for Mom's birthday dinner a few weeks back. When my hair was still really long. I'm getting used to my shorter and healthier hair now. Finally gonna get my hair done after the semester exams. I hope I pass everything then to hell with school till 2011. Keeping my fingers cross 

Was playing with my nude lip colour 

Goodnight, have a good rest everyone. My stomach is giving me a lot of problems now because it is being a bitch. Gonna walk down to the nearest shop to get a pack to tide me through the night. Someone please keep me awake 

Burn muthafuckers burn

Just burn in hell. 

Why is the world such a tormenting cycle that friends and I've to get dead drunk every alternate nights just to feel better but to find ourselves feeling worst than that the next day. Yesterday night wasn't my turn, it was a dear friend. I wish you luck but that's about all I can say. I'm sorry to whoever was there after. Not anymore, I was surprised and didn't expect anything like this at all. But humans are just not contented with whatever they have. So maybe till then. Just had a bowl of instant noodles cooked by the maid, feeling my world spinning like mad, so full and contented. Happy when I eat, but will regret tomorrow afternoon or morn because eating means gaining weight, now all I can do is wash my face, get rid of all traces of makeup and fall into bed. Probably will cry myself to sleep, that's why i've been doing for more than a year. If any of you manage to catch this post then good for you, i'm only letting this up for less than 24hrs. When i'm awake later, totally sober, I think I would delete this post. A dear friend with me now, I hope you will be happy. Life is fair, it just isn't time, when it's time you will know, don't feel so bad about everything and anything that's happening to you. No rights to say anything but I wish you would be happy. I'm having aqualung-lost put on replay now for the morn, it's a nice tune to be healing the lost souls out there. Wish you luck. 

Oh yeah to sidetrack, Macy and I were such kind souls at Nana just now. We found some clutch in the toilet and we returned it to the owner, she was so thankful and didn't let us go back to our table till she sees us finishing the drinks that they insisted on getting. Even planned to meet us at zoukout. See you guys there then. Gonna head to the toilet then to bed. See you all in a few hours time. Hope I won't fail my exams. 

Hangover

Didn't plan to enter zouk at all but somehow I partied my night away. Before I knew it, all the alcohol were coming my way and the next thing I was high. Nana after that killed me. Totally. Omw to holland v now to study with a fucking bad hangover and my mood is really bad.

Feeling so fly like a g6

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Rewards for studying

I know I'm supposed to study. I need a break from all the shit I've been getting. Rebel tonight?
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Goodnight kiss

Written half of my mpo notes. Another stay home night for me with my books after meeting the usuals to study at holland v's coffee bean. Something to be happy for tomorrow because I'm probably gonna collect my beats earphones, the bad thing is the red one is not available anymore! The red one is really damn pretty but well, shall settle for the black one. Laying in bed with my mpo notes, gonna start memorising for real this time. I've no time to party or whatever this week. Maybe I could take some time out for dinner or coffee with a couple of friends then I've to rush to meet my books. How great can life get like that? Can't wait for 2nd Dec, I shall see my party people again by then. So if I'm going for zoukout, I can't waittttt. Afrojack, Tiesto and David Guetta. Aren't you all excited. I kinda miss fam lunch. I wanna head out to somewhere nice for brunch tomorrow, but we shall see if momsie or the maid is cooking. Gonna bury my head in my notes for now. Half an hour then I'm gonna hit the sacks. Really tired and hungry now. 

Goodnight xoxo. 

Nana quite some time back. I can't even remember how many weeks ago or what was this. But well. 

Matthias was there as well. Headed to Nana after Mango. This explains the flush of redness on my face after drinking. Get red really easily nowadays. 

Bumped in Gerald there too. Nana after examssssss. 

It's too late to apologise. 

Wed night at home

I was pretty determined to stay home tonight but as more texts and calls came in, my decisions started to sway but I still managed to rest myself on my bed so I won't get up, choose an outfit, get on my heels and flag for a cab down to zouk/rebel/butter or something. No I'm probably gonna stay home this entire week to study for my exams. My CA results served as a wake up call, if I don't get an average of B for all my modules, I'm gonna be really devastated because that means I can't get into my desired uni and I don't wanna enrol into rmit or uol. I know it's a bit too early to say for everything but as for now, that's my goal. No doubt I miss Nana but still I'm gonna stay home this week. I think. What's more, classmates say if I party this week, they don't wanna see me studying with them anymore. Even the usual hardccore party people could stop partying for exams, why not me? I'm cutting down on parties and all the dramas. Yes I will. 

Have fun all the people partying today. I know almost the whole world is at Phuture. Party hard for me guys. Xxxxxx

Love you all, gonna wash off my makeup and head to bed for a few hours before waking up to do my work. 

Wanted to photobooth with Dad' mac and he brought it out. Annoying much 

I'm already comfortably lying on my bed preparing to zonk out. The weather's been pretty chilly lately. Gonna wear my cardigan to sleep. So warm and nice, I like this feeling 

Just as I finished taking all the pictures. The fam is back with the mac. But can't really be bothered with it. Gonna talk to the Mom for awhile. She forgot to get my electrical toothbrush for me. I wanna exfoliate my face. Mommy I need it to exfoliate my faceeeeee

This is what I'm doing most of the time when I'm home. 

Goodnight, shall see if I can fall asleep. My friends say if I sleep now, the world's probably coming to and end because since when I sleep at 1244? I'll show you how amazing I am tonight. Listening to club remixes to bed

Revision

Late at night wearing some old jacket, drinking hot made grass jelly doing notes. Taking occasional smoking breaks in the kitchen and small talks with the aunt to destress. No distractions. Life's good with my friends around, with constant bbms and all. Gonna call it a night soon. Hide under my covers in my bed. Feel like disappearing for some time. How about that? Still having always be my baby on replay. I wanna sleep well, sweet dreams?
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Having always be my baby-david cook. I downloaded this song again after the whole group of us spent the night at Chris's place. When almost everyone were asleep apart from maybe Beelay and I. She played this song on her ipod through the sound system, at that hour, looking out of the window panes of Robertson Quay, watching the rising sun, I totally wanna revived that now. 

Feeling really emotional and depressed now. Again, yes I know again. Logged out of msn which is what I won't do when I'm home. My fingers just moved the mouse and the cursor over the sign out button and there I'm off. So meanwhile I'm only accompanied by music and skype. Doing my notes for mpo. I need some peace. How I wish time could be rewind. 

It's been long. 

A taste of halloween

Threw some random posts back to get halloween photos up because it's way backdated already. I was thinking of continue doing notes for mpo since the exams are just around the corner which is like in a week's time? But migraine is affecting me so badly now so I thought maybe I would just snuggle in bed with a book first. Thinking of not going to school tomorrow as well because we leave early everyday to study and I'm always late, so basically I'm in school for no longer than an hour and then we're off. So I don't really see the point in rushing to school. Oh yea, CA results were released today, surprised that I aced my business math but well for the other two modules, we shall see what I can do about it. Failed nothing thou, which is good. Just my fair share of daily rantings. I think I should just take a nap before waking up to revise my work again. Mmm, we shall see. As for now i'll let my thoughts run in my mind to myself. Maybe I'll run to my personal online space. Need somewhere to breathe. 

30th Oct 

Sat afternoon was spent in school though as usual, I left early. 

Home to get ready to head out to meet the girls, though the plans didn't really go as planned but well I still had fun with everyone 

First stop was Klapson boutique hotel for this ed hardy event cum halloween party. Everyone was really dressed to the theme and it was fun seeing the different outfit, makeups and all. Beats squeezing with everyone in the clubs. 

With Mich and Pauline 

By the time we made our way to the washroom, both of us were already pretty tipsy 

So when all of us were high, to Rebel it was 

On our way, can't wait to party with them there

Met up with Felicia there 

And Keef too. 

Partied at Rebel for a lil while before heading down to Zouk to look for Cheryl and all. Was too tipsy to take any pictures by then. So this was my halloween. Pauline was already saying that she's gonna prepare for halloween way beforehand. No more last minute preparation

Lounge

As usual, I'm always lazing at home on a Sun. Actually told myself to head out with the fam, but I was too tired after my long night at Phuture and Neverland. My plans are just getting more and more impromptu nowadays. Anyway I jerked out of bed this morning to find myself literally screaming at the nightmare I just had and I wanted to break down immediately. Just felt like shit and wanna stay under my covers all day. This sucks, because I have no idea what was really happening. All I know was I just had a few horrible dreams, trying to differentiate reality from the illusions and my stomach was being a total bitch. When life goes down, it goes all the way down for me. Just gonna bury my head in my books later because sem exams are coming in a few days time. Gonna check the portal to see when we have to go to school next week. Can't wait for holidays to start, although there isn't much to do, but I might just fly off for the weekends because I can't stand being in this depressing island any longer. 

Three more days of school before the study break comes, exams then term break. 3 more days, just have to endure 3 more days of school. I feel so sick of school, sick of everything in life. Can't wait to be happy but when will that be? Must stop being depress. I must stop. 

Back later or when I feel like it with halloween pictures. Probably. 

Out with Mich 

See you. 

Hungry

Hi everyone I'm so hungry and bored in lectures now. Made my way to school despite having a hangover. So had a great night at new asia bar, zouk then neverland. So what's up for everyone tonight? Might be heading to butter. We shall see. Pictures when I get home yay
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Facebook-ing with the sis

Sis: quick sleep .tmr don't need go school huh have right also give me back mummy i phone

Sis:zzzzz

Sis:sleep lor

Sis:also arh pay me two dollar

ShermLyeah la i know

Sherm:i now go give back and i not going school tmr

Sis:if not interest arh

Sis:actually you got to pay me my ribena but never mine

Sherm: -.-

Sis: i phone

Sherm: kk coming in now

Sis: what is that

Sherm:tell mommy i wanna use the mask

Sherm:it's the lame face

Sis:kkkk

Sis: -..

Sis: -..

Sis: -..

Sis: -..

Sis: -..

Sis: ..-

Sherm: stop it can!

Sherm: i know i don't teach you

Sis: i testing what!

Sis: i know alr

Sis: let you see

Sis: -.-

Sherm: ok smart girl.

Sherm: go sleep, you and bren not going school alr right?

Sis: then what you think

Sis: yah so playing boring tlk to you lah

Sis: what time you sleeping i sleep at the same time with you

Sis: heehee

Sis: (:

Talking to the 9 year old sissy and then she went offline when she said she's gonna sleep at the same time as I am. 

House visit

Georgy comes to visit with annabelle. Hehe. Followed by brunch at rp with jovene then koi. Lastly now in class, successfully sneaked annabelle into class for biz math lecture. At least I don't have to focus on the stupid lecturer. I'm having rp ham n cheese waffles. I want moreeee. So nice
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Haircut

I think I chopped off like 5 inches. My heart was pumping each time he snipped off my hair. I swear I was gonna have a heart attack. It's so short to me now. Probably gonna get my hair dyed next week.
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Thoughts

Bbm-ing Pauline. 

Sherm: I rather not be sober sometimes 

Pauline: I kno right

Pauline: Life SUCKS 

Pauline: Just wna forget that we're living 

Sherm: Yes

Sherm: Wanna forget why am I even on earth 

Pauline: Haha emo vibes

Doesn't this sounds like two emotional souls. Talking about how tormenting life is treating them. Or maybe we should learn that it's we who are being hard on ourselves. 

Goodnight for real this time 

Mornings

Some thai discos for some drinks then head to nana. Kept the promise of remaining sober. So wanna dump myself onto bed, having lost on replay. Gonna do so in half an hour's time. I had a horrible day in school. Probably gonna head to town later when I wake up to satisfy my cravings and instant chix mushroom soup saved my morning to stop my gastric before I have to dial 911.

Hope everyone is happy. Xoxo. Goodnight, I need a good rest
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Trance

Finally got the songs I want downloaded and did a bit of biz math so I won't feel so guilty for not studying. Have been going home after school for quite sometimes already because I always feel so unwell. Iphone 4 or bb torch, I think I'll still stick with bb because I don't wanna give up bbm! Like I've said, it is already a part of me now.
I'm feeling hungry and I wanna eat pizzas and pastas. But you know what, I'm gonna sleep my hunger away and save everything for lunch when I wake up. Sleep my migraine away at the same time.
Anyway I'm thinking of chopping my fringe till that length in that photo but I know I'll look very young. Should I?
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Endless

This marks the end of my weekend. Got out of bed with a massive hangover, so bad that I couldn't even walk out of the bathroom. I was already nursing a hangover yesterday afternoon, but somehow as it got better in the night, I ended up at Nana to meet Irwin, Gabe and all and also for Nic's birthday, I think everyone was pretty tipsy last night. Phuture on Fri with the girls and all, and that was once when almost everyone I went with disappeared and we didn't even know what happened to one another, all of us were pretty gone that night but well, we still had fun. But it is really not fun getting drunk two days in a row and then waking up with a hangover that massive that you would feel like dying. I've kinda grown out of that usual routine phase that happened to me during my previous holidays. And we had a booth at pit building for the FLB flea on Sat morning so you can imagine our hungover face, it was so bad that I kept wanting to puke for the entire day and I didn't feel like I was on earth at all. 

I need to start my revision soon. My soon meaning later, 16 days more to our sem exams for three modules. Although it may seem like there's only three but they are all pretty heavy topics. Dread the thought of exams arriving. I really need a holiday, a getaway after all this. Think I've suffered too much from everything, I need a break. 

Momsie says she's gonna head to the salon like next week or something so yay new hair colour and I'm thinking of chopping off a good few inches from my hair to healthier locks and probably shorter fringe? I still can't decide to stick to a darker brown or violet red. Tell me how?

Alright till then, xoxo 

Randoms founds of me and Carilyn at Holland v, we met at spize for supper if i'm not wrong before heading to coffeebean for coffee, music and books, and of course to talk. Chill night. I feel so disconnected from the electronic toys gadgets or whatever. Not really a gamer, but I decided to take along with the ds lite or what with me and I even realised that there's a camera. 

Another random night at Tiong, I can't really remember how we landed there but we were two sick girls for the night 

That explains the pale and listless look right?

I'm so tired, gonna zonk out early again tonight. Have been sleeping a lot lately. Which is good. Because it's good for complexion, totally turning into a complexion freak, influenced by Pauline. Half the time I was at nana, we were bbm-ing and she was telling me not to drink so much because it's not good for complexion. What cute friends I have right. Love you guys.

Byeeeeeee

Early mornings

No idea why it's been like that for a few weeks already, every morning I'll wake up like at least three times before i'll finally be awake. Without the help of an alarm, I'll wake up at let's say 8, then 10, then maybe 1 or 2 then i'll see if I still wanna sleep. Or if I still have school. This is my second time awake, gonna lie for awhile longer before getting up to prepare for school. Biz english lectures today, haven't been attending lessons regularly this week, because I just felt

 like laying in bed all day, like yesterday, something was so wrong with my mood that I left after about 30 mins into class. What's more was that I was late for half an hour already. But just can't stand people ruining my day.

Might head over to Cheryl's bbq at her place before heading to zouk if time allows later. 

Nana quite some time back with Nic, Andric and all. 

Camelia 

I spent my evening looking through photos and am very determined to start on my diet plan for real. So we shall see whether I stick to it. I love food so I might just stay fat and die. 

Printed out the past intakes paper but right after I stapled everything together, I started feeling depress and just lay in bed, whining about life to my friends on the phone before finally falling asleep. Life sucks, bye.

Exhausted

Why not just break me into pieces?
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Dinner

Heading out for mom's dinner. I thought I recovered from my fever already. But apparently it came back and I'm feeling so unwell now.

Depressed and unwell don't go well together at all.
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Phuture

Falling in and out of sleep last night and was called out of bed by the fam at 12am to sing a birthday song for momsie. Woke up with flushed red face and I can only feel the heat around me. How to even take pictures in that state but we still did. Kinda refused to take any medication at first because I know how much it would hurt my throat with those pills. But was forced to in the end. Recovered without even getting any extra sleep, but I'm still feeling the after effects, like the drowsiness, slight chilly feeling and all. Thank god the fever didn't take that long to recover because I need to prepare to head out soon with the fam for momsie's birthday dinner. Gonna spent my day off from school being sick and with the fam. No one cares anyway, how miserable 

Then again, dog life after dinner because I've to finish my part for the biz english group assignment before I can concentrate on revisions on my exams though I know that I would not really have the mood to do so. But well well. 

Seeya later when I'm back. Xoxo 

Sept 29

Supposed to be the last day of partying before school starts. But you know how some special occasions just calls for a little celebrating here and there so all of us still ends up hitting the clubs every week. 

I miss partying with the girls. 

Was pretty tipsy for the entire night that I didn't even know there were pictures taken. 

This was when we were still sober. 

Definitely still 

I think we were starting to get a little tipsy. After Cheryl, Rachel and the rest came 

I totally disappeared by then hahahaha. 

I was totally laughing my ass off at the text and bbm I was sending out that night. 

Really can't stand myself at times. 

Dragged them to nana after that then head to thomson for supper with Georgy too. Can't wait to party again or go overseas with them. It's gonna be funnnnnn 

I think that was the start to the end. 

You will never understand