With the girls

I spent my night lying in bed thinking over all the lies that are still haunting in me and I just wished to disappear. Lying in bed bbm-ing everyone and a god knows what happened to S. I was like trying to comprehend what she was trying to say in her messages. I just let 90210 play in fullscreen, on and on. Because I didn't wanna click out of it, at least there's some noise in the room and all. Enough of this, I had enough of walking down memory lane. I wanna see all my friends because they are always the one who will be holding you up when you're crumbling down. I won't wanna trust again..

So I was sleeping really soundly and Momsie just came into my room and said wake up and prepare, you're late. So I pry opened my eyes and said " huh, where are we going? " Then she said malaysia. What the hell, we're going in the evening, she woke me up at 2 plus to say that i'm late. I've a very funny family, can't be blamed. 

19th Nov

Met with the girls at bugis first. 

Before heading to New Asia Bar. Macy was craving for some moet. Babe come back from Korea soon okay! We all miss you

The forever entertaining Cheryl 

Ugly hair roots, still didn't get it done at that time. 

A bottle and we were off from nab. 

Headed to Cine for a lil while 

Met Carilyn and all. Tempted some of them to head down to zouk too! 

But by the time they were there, I was already not very sober. 

So.... Zouk was pretty last minute too. Met Fel there. But we were probably there for an hour or only. 

Gary. 

And somehow we landed at Neverland. Wanted to head over to Filter till they realised that it's already getting late and it was gonna close soon. So neverland it was. Had fun with everyone that night. Can't wait to party with all of them again. 

Yes, you. The disappointment will never dissolve. 

Thoughts/Wise words

Nothing stays forever and nothing remains forever. Everything's changing just as like the clock is ticking. 

"On Love" by Kahlil Gibran. It interest me to see how Love, the ever-so-difficult-to understand concept could be personified so beautifully 

I find myself taking things a bit too seriously. Taking the people around me too seriously. Attach too much value to everything said and done. 

People nowadays no longer want to hear the truth or heartfelt words, or need to see what is real, or the genuine side of things. That's passe, no longer in fashion, and it doesn't get you anywhere. People want to hear words pleasant to the ears, what they want to hear, that are light, not too heavy, that need not be so serious, for the fun of it, no need to be of substance, can be superficial, not to be taken seriously, of entertainment value, spontaneous, that show your reaction, say-it-here-and-forget about-it-here type. 

Uncontrollable

I can't calm myself down at all now. For this few days, it would only need some minor setbacks or anything to make me get all work up. It only took one more of such to trigger my tears and there it goes. And I can't stop.. I hate how this life works, I hate everything about it. This can't go on, I'm serious. I can't handle this anymore
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What's the deal?

Just can't put my thoughts into words. I lay on my bed. Wondering how I ended up like these. The things I've heard and those consoling words. With all these around, you would never feel life could get any better. But it works differently for me. Now now, back to square one. Rule number one.
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Party Time

Hehe and I'm back with more pictures. Tonight might be the last night that I'm partying for the week. Let's see okay. I still can't find something to wear to zouk later. I'm like running out of clothes because I hardly shop nowadays. So sad, I really can't find anything to wear after staring at the closet for I don't know how long already. But anyway, just gonna pick any junk out and wear. See you guys if you're at zouk. 

Oh yeah anyway changed the housing for bb! 

Confirm say my nose very big again. 

Painted my nails lilac again. Gonna let this stay on my nails till Tues! Gonna go for manicure with Jovene 

Where's hope?

I miss my room. Have been staying out and didn't even see the fam for two days and nights. Finally home, freshly showered and all. Ate a very filling dinner and yes I think I'm heading to zouk later. Gonna start doing my make-up soon. 

I just have this very weird feeling in me that the worst is yet to come. Like my life hasn't reach it's lowest point yet. When that happens, I think I'm gonna disappear totally. For real. I've totally no idea why am I turning into such a pessimistic freak. I used to counsel others, telling them to look on the bright side of life, things will get better and the list goes on. But looks like now it's my turn to be one of them. I really hate this period of time and I just wish I could sleep and wake up only when things get better. I just can't put my feelings into words or rather I did tried translating my thoughts into words, but it's all written somewhere where no one would see. That would probably be my only source of solitary space, where no one judges, no one to wake you up and everything. From there, i'll turn out better, I believe. 

Oh yeah, short update, was at rebel with Fel and Kaylie. Lunar, Nana then Aura yesterday night. 

Okay gonna have fun later xoxo. 

One night when we went over to membina for I don't know what. These pictures seem to be from ages ago. 

This was the day when Georgy and Annabell comes to visit. Ok, actually they came to my place to wait for me to prepare before we headed to rp for brunch, wanna eat the banmian and the waffles again. So so so wanna eat them. Gonna bbm Georgy that now. 

Sneaked her into our lectures and she got busted only at the very last part of the lecture. I swear she's really damn adorable but super mischievous too. What's childhood without these right?

Till then i'll never live again 

Thoughts

Climbing into bed feeling free? Isn't that how things are supposed to be. Don't feel like everything you do is being opposed to. Be wise, be confident. Never thought you, yourself would do such a thing? Never assume, never be sure. Things don't often turns out the way you want them to be, the way you thought it would be. You're not some prodigy, give yourself a break. Goodnight. Gonna sleep a happy soul
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Wish you well

I, I want to wish you well
I didn’t watch you go
Cause I suppose I don’t know how
I, I will remember you
Not the way you left but how you lived
And what you knew

I, I want to feel your hands
I want to feel your fire burning
Right from where I stand

I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want toknow it’s you
When I hear your voice inside my head
Inside my room
I, want to touch the sky
I want to see the stars twinkle
Like they were your eyes

I’ll find my way
You showed me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want to smell your scent
I want to breathe the air I did before
Before you left

I, I want to wish you well
The only reason my heart beats
Is cause you showed it how

I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how
You show me how
You showed me how

Recuperating

I really wanna get out of home to town to shop for new clothes, heels and wedges tomorrow but the bruises are darkened now. Which means they are healing but that also means that my eye area and all are really dark now which looks really ugly. Because of the injuries, I can't really do anything to my skin, my complexion is becoming really bad. Feel so sad looking at the mirror now, think I should sleep all day until I feel better and look better. But I really need new clothes and all, I need to shop, or maybe I should put on my shades even in the malls? But I don't wanna get weird stares too. Whatever. I wanna do my nails, I wanna satisfy my food cravings. 

Okay so as you all should know, I got into a car acccident on Sun. The bruises looked really kinda scary on the night itself and after hearing the different stories from all of my friends, called mom to accompany me to the hospital for a checkup. The report showed that nothing is wrong but I don't really trust it though, but well i'll see if there are any unsual symptoms. If there is then I'll rush to another hospital for another check up, as for now, I'm probably gonna sleep my life away. 

2010 has been one of the worst year for me. Met with so many different setbacks that made me feel as if I can no longer pick myself up, but with the people around me, I know I would be able to. Just the accident alone, various calls and texts came. It was really heartwarming to receive such treatment from your friends. Now you can call them fam. This year went by really fast, I hope it ends fast and bring a better 2011 to me. I'm really hoping. 

Phuture 

Gonna see them on Wed again for Carilyn's birthday so see you guys there 

Pictures.. Feeling the sudden surge of tiredness. 

So pictures and pictures.. 

Mich came to visit me at my place this evening too. 

Gonna dump myself into bed soon. Feeling really damn tired now. 

Goodnight xoxo. I'll be back tomorrow 

Waiting

Really love my friends for cheering me up. Was bbm-ing pauline and then she said check whether the hit on my head did anything to my memory. Do I rememeber...... No? Ok, was your...... Pauline if you see this you will know what is it. I'm telling her it's really damn funny.

0153 and I'm still waiting and the accident and emergency. If there was really something damn serious, I would have die already. But my bruise still looks a lil too scary to be ignored. So..
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Hospital

Got into a car accident, at the hospital now. After hearing to all of my friend's advice. Think I shall go for a checkup to give myself a peace of mind. Afterall I injured my head. Waiting at the a and e now
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Rapunzel

Heading to cine now to watch rapunzel with Sel. Finally we're meeting and not at clubs. Hopefully we won't end up partying in the later part. Yes I still feel like shit, so when I feel like shit, I don't wanna look like shit too. I really wanted to head town without any makeup on.

Gonna have a wave of sadness hitting me soon. I can feel it
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Apologies

Not of any use. I got myself so wasted after new asia bar last night. So wasted, I wished I could stay wasted so I don't have to think. Just sent mom a fb message. I told her I wanna fly off, I hope she will get me a ticket and prepare everything for me. I don't mind flying off today
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Thoughts

I don't feel fine
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Salon

At the salon now doing my hair. Yes again. Seem to visit the salon quite frequently nowadays. The dye is stinging my scalp because I think there's ash but it isn't as bad this time. Still tolerable. Last day of exams, what am I gonna do today. Hmm, get some rest, haven't been getting enough sleep. I'm so hungry now, gonna get toffeenut frappe later from starbucks. Should I get other food as well? Really really hungry. Momsie went to ikea without telling me. I need to go to ikea too. Okay I was bored so I decided to update. Anw I'm not really sure of what colour my hair would turn out as later. We shall see later, either twitpic or smth. Hehe
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Toy

So i'm finally down with two papers. Last paper tomorrow. Biz Math, hope I'll be able to do well for it, the thought of having to remodule for even one kills. Imagine 6 hours of school a day for 3 days and the rest of the 3 days will be 3 hours each. It is still enough to kill. Keep my fingers cross till results are released which will be soon. Alright so tomorrow, praying for tomorrow to come faster. So my life would be better. We were so tired today, even after arriving at starbucks, we just chilled there, talking about everything under the sun, joking and all. Because of the lack of sleep, all of us were feeling damn cranky, we just kept laughing and laughing, bet we were damn annoying to those who really wanted to study. No more freezing starbucks till next sem I guess. 

Nana with Pauline, Cheryl and Leonard. We caught social network at cine. Right after the movie, we just decided we should head somewhere to party. The cab driver was really annoyed with us because we got up and said, zouk, then no orchard towers then no nana. For real this time, no more changing of decisions 

It wasn't long before we got a lil tipsy. 

Orchard towers for supper. If we continue spending our nights like that, party then supper, we would grow into fat pigs in no time. 

Gonna get my hair done tomorrow. I think my hair grew really fast, wondering if I should trim my fringe again or awhile later. How how how? I wanna watch a movie tomorrow 

Georgy

Georgy playing a fool hahahahaha. I wanna eat pasta but I'm so full. Sushi too. Xlb too
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Last day at starbucks

We're actually only plugging in our earphones. Slouching on the sofas. I need a life
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Nightmare

Fell asleep for awhile and I landed in some nightmare. Broke down for awhile because I thought it was real. Trying to calm myself down while trying to sleep. Goodnight xx
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